I was meant to go on a date with Yaniv the next day, and although I prayed to G-d with ALL MY HEART to feel better. Nothing helped.
On the day of my most important day of my 17 years of life, the guy I wanted to marry with all my heart wasn't there. But Ilan was.
I don't know what I've done in my previous life to have deserved that, but whatever it was that led me to my graduation must have been good. Ilan was friends with a friend who came to visit. And although ALL my girlfriends HATED Tom, I loved him!
Tom graduated from my high school a year before I did, and so we did have some bonding time in Spanish classes. I said hi, he said hi back and that moment when I first laid eyes on Ilan, I was both so relieved knowing that Yaniv wasn't there as I was upset for the same exact reason. A British boy who seemed too interesting to get my eyes of off him came into my life the minute Yaniv was getting out.
When I got home, Yaniv gave me a call. We spoke for hours. He apologized for now coming and I was just happy to know he called. It was easy making conversations with Yaniv. Even though he would normally treat me like the "little girl" he also thought I was never boring and easy to speak to.
As the night became day my fever kept on getting higher. And no matter how much I wished to feel better by the morning nothing helped.
When I spoke to Yaniv the next morning, explaining to him how I can't leave bed due to my illness. He raised an eyebrow and figured out I was lying to him, realising he was too old for me and how I don't want to see him ever again.
Sooner or later he called again, apologizing for not believing me but something started feeling wrong.
I was in bed for a week, with fever whilst receiving messaged, photos, emails, sms' from Yaniv. He would constantly ask if I needed anything, I would constantly tell him I was dying to finally see him again. But something was broken. I didn't feel the same for him...
The day I finally got better, Yaniv sent me the longest, sweetest most romantic email yet. In the email he described to me how much he misses me, what I mean to him and how much he can't wait to finally see me. Though I didn't feel any butterflies- I was happiest knowing the man I'm going to soon marry is in love with me.
A day after his long email, we went to the beach. Spoke. Laughed. Nothing.
I couldn't hold his hand, because in my dreams prince charming was supposed to be the one doing that. By the end we were both cold, unaffectionate and though I didn't want to see it- I knew we were in a way done.
I kept on delaying our next date which quite frankly bothered him. I wasn't warm, and he needed that from me. He wanted to take me out that night, but I refused.
Friday night we didn't speak. Saturday we didn't speak. I refused to be the one to give him a call. I refused to know that he isn't making an effort to speak to me. I wasn't too bothered by the way I look for him, I wasn't bothered if we would be over just because I believed that even if we would break up- we were meant to be so life would yet again bring us back together.
Sunday- after a long, long day of looking a beautiful dresses for my next date with Yaniv, and countless amounts of stories of how we'll be raising our kids together still no message from Yaniv.
Until.... New message received.
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